Finishing That Thought

To finish up our survey results, there were a bunch of folks that were sure a big war was on the way. Some thought it would be between the Christian and Muslim nations, some between the United States and China, and one guy named Phil thought the war would be fought between  Michael Jackson fans and Duran Duran groupies. In the Other category there were a lot of people who were convinced that cellist Yo-Yo Ma would cause the end of the world. An effin' cellist? Really? Or maybe they said Yo Ma-Ma. But I'm not sure who that is. Then there were the twins who would were scared that their pet hamster would mutate into a killer rodent. And then there was one guy who just kept chanting "Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn". Or something like that. I just want to know why there are so many strange options here. Why not something sensible like a war to determine which half of the population gets eaten by Soul Lords?