Republican presidential hopeful Rick Santorum lashed out at dark horse candidate Cthulhu after the recent debate in South Carolina where Cthulhu deigned not to make an appearance or send a representative. "It's un-American," Santorum ranted. "He should have to stand up here and get smeared just like the rest of us. And how did he get on the ballot anyway? I bet he wasn't even born in America. Let's see his birth certificate." Election officials confirmed that Cthulhu had filed all the requisite paperwork to merit being on the ballot.
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